Monday 4 July 2022 would have been Kate’s 61st Birthday. And Wednesday 13 July 2022 will be the fifth anniversary of her untimely death from breast cancer, at the Princess Alice Hospice, Esher, in the summer of 2017. As the years pass by, increasingly I prefer to commemorate and celebrate her birthday, allowing her death … Continue reading #Kateday22
Saying Farewell to Mum
Maureen Dracup, my mother, died on 14 January 2022. She was ninety-one and succumbed to dementia. My brother and I finally managed to extract her from hospital in the autumn of 2021, by which point she required palliative care, but could at least spend her last days at home. She had been taken in after … Continue reading Saying Farewell to Mum
Sunday 4 July 2021 would have been Kate's 60th birthday. It was the day she planned to join me in retirement - and we had vague notions of relocating somewhere more tranquil and beautiful. We would have thrown her a huge party of course; given her another special day to remember for the rest of … Continue reading #Kateday21
Escaping our Bereavement Comfort Zones
' This post encapsulates my further understanding and experience of bereavement, acquired since the third anniversary of Kate’s death. Three Years Bereaved (July 2020) explored my downward spiral into poor mental health, provoked by my father’s death so soon after Kate’s, which somehow extended and amplified my grief beyond my capacity to endure it. I … Continue reading Escaping our Bereavement Comfort Zones
Three Years Bereaved
Kate would have been 59 on 4 July 2020 and the third anniversary of her death falls on 13 July, just nine days later. It feels timely to reflect on my bereavement again; something I last attempted more than two years ago. So much has happened between then and now – some amazing; much dreadful … Continue reading Three Years Bereaved
It's now almost three years since Kate left us. And, on 4 July 2020, she would have celebrated her 59th birthday. We always try to make Kate's birthday a celebration: a day for family and friends to raise a glass, remembering her fondly and sharing afresh all the fun, laughter, love and happiness she brought … Continue reading Happy #Kateday20!
. As our partners trace their graceful arabesques above They pause; stoop down to guide our own more rustic figure And thus we weave the skeins of new-found love. . Emerging from our past lives’ wreckage, our fondest dreams stove In; what should we do but grow love from grief? How else endure As our … Continue reading Dancing Partners
Aspie no more? How has bereavement changed me?
. When my wife Kate was still alive I published three posts dedicated to exploring whether I might qualify as borderline Aspergers. Kate had become convinced that this explained the difference between her personality and mine – and the difficulty I experienced in understanding and responding to her emotional needs. She read several books on … Continue reading Aspie no more? How has bereavement changed me?
. When Kate died in July 2017 I discussed with some of her closest friends and relatives the idea of meeting annually on her birthday to remember her. I thought this would be a fitting tribute to someone whose commitment to friendship and family was extraordinary – whose greatest gift was her immense capacity for … Continue reading #Kateday2018
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. I’ve this unquenchable thirst to slake Must slough off the shrouds of solitude While cautiously inching awake, . My erstwhile love I’ll not forsake, Stranded in desolate quietude, I’ve this unquenchable thirst to slake. . Stay blank fear, do not mistake This tremulous interlude While cautiously inching awake . Resolve the conundrum; so much … Continue reading Resolution
. We had booked a fortnight’s holiday in Slovenia for July 2016, but my partner Kate was diagnosed with primary breast cancer only weeks before departure, so we cancelled. She died barely a year later and, shortly after the funeral, I decided to undertake our planned holiday alone. It felt like unfinished business - and … Continue reading Autumnal Slovenia
From Kate’s funeral service
This was my contribution to Kate's funeral service, which took place at Kingston Cemetery and Crematorium on 31 July 2017: . I first met Kate at university in October 1979. She was 18; I was 20. We each had lots of red hair. We drank beer, went to many gigs together and became firm friends. … Continue reading From Kate’s funeral service
Kate Dracup (nee Jones) was born on 4 July 1961. We were married on 15 October 1994. She died on 13 July 2017 at the age of 56. I miss her badly.