Saying Farewell to Mum

Maureen Dracup, my mother, died on 14 January 2022. She was ninety-one and succumbed to dementia. My brother and I finally managed to extract her from hospital in the autumn of 2021, by which point she required palliative care, but could at least spend her last days at home. She had been taken in after … Continue reading Saying Farewell to Mum

Escaping our Bereavement Comfort Zones

' This post encapsulates my further understanding and experience of bereavement, acquired since the third anniversary of Kate’s death. Three Years Bereaved (July 2020) explored my downward spiral into poor mental health, provoked by my father’s death so soon after Kate’s, which somehow extended and amplified my grief beyond my capacity to endure it. I … Continue reading Escaping our Bereavement Comfort Zones

Three Years Bereaved

Kate would have been 59 on 4 July 2020 and the third anniversary of her death falls on 13 July, just nine days later. It feels timely to reflect on my bereavement again; something I last attempted more than two years ago. So much has happened between then and now – some amazing; much dreadful … Continue reading Three Years Bereaved

Dancing Partners

.  As our partners trace their graceful arabesques above They pause; stoop down to guide our own more rustic figure And thus we weave the skeins of new-found love. . Emerging from our past lives’ wreckage, our fondest dreams stove In; what should we do but grow love from grief? How else endure As our … Continue reading Dancing Partners

Aspie no more? How has bereavement changed me?

.  When my wife Kate was still alive I published three posts dedicated to exploring whether I might qualify as borderline Aspergers. Kate had become convinced that this explained the difference between her personality and mine – and the difficulty I experienced in understanding and responding to her emotional needs. She read several books on … Continue reading Aspie no more? How has bereavement changed me?


.  I’ve this unquenchable thirst to slake Must slough off the shrouds of solitude While cautiously inching awake, . My erstwhile love I’ll not forsake, Stranded in desolate quietude, I’ve this unquenchable thirst to slake. . Stay blank fear, do not mistake This tremulous interlude While cautiously inching awake . Resolve the conundrum; so much … Continue reading Resolution

Autumnal Slovenia

. We had booked a fortnight’s holiday in Slovenia for July 2016, but my partner Kate was diagnosed with primary breast cancer only weeks before departure, so we cancelled. She died barely a year later and, shortly after the funeral, I decided to undertake our planned holiday alone. It felt like unfinished business - and … Continue reading Autumnal Slovenia

From Kate’s funeral service

This was my contribution to Kate's funeral service, which took place at Kingston Cemetery and Crematorium on 31 July 2017: . I first met Kate at university in October 1979. She was 18; I was 20. We each had lots of red hair. We drank beer, went to many gigs together and became firm friends. … Continue reading From Kate’s funeral service